Helping Each Other
Earlier this week, after a long day of cooking, we went for a walk in the neighborhood. It was a breezy, sunny evening and it felt good to be outside. On our way back, we stopped for a socially distant chat with a handyman who owns a house around the corner from the cafe.
“I hear you guys are doing a takeout thing,” he said. “How’s that going?”
Sometimes it’s hard to be straight with people about where we’re really at, right? Our culture promotes the notion of rugged individualism, tells us to “pull ourselves up by our bootstraps” and shames us as failures when catastrophe strikes, as if there was something we could—or should—have done to avoid it. It’s easy to feel like we’re alone.
“We’ve had a real outpouring of support these past few weeks,” we explained. “It’s been amazing. But if we can’t increase business, we won’t last.”
A sober quiet settled between us. We weren’t sure what else to say.
“I really feel for you guys,” he finally said, breaking the silence. “I know that for a lot of our neighbors, the pandemic is just an inconvenience. They’re all healthy and no one they know has died. They’re working from home but they still have jobs, they’re even spending more time with their families. They’re not spending money, and heck, the government just gave them a bonus! It’s folks like you—and my wife, who owns a salon—who really need help right now.”
Empathy feels good, doesn’t it? It breaks down the spaces between us when we see ourselves in others. And when we really see others—without judgment—we are humbled. In our humility, we can stretch out our hands in support. So, here’s the thing: we really do need your continued support. For us, the pandemic is not merely an inconvenience. It’s put our livelihood and life’s work on the line. And we know we’re not alone.
All of us in the service industry are restructuring our businesses with little to no financial help from the government. Don’t be fooled by so-called stimulus plans that have made the very wealthy even more wealthy while leaving the little guy out in the cold. Those loans were claimed before the ink on the legislation that authorized them had dried. The choice now faced by those of us who are still in business is to work harder then ever to make less money than ever. Yes, restrictions are being eased and restaurants are preparing to reopen, under strict guidelines, for in-house dining. But there remains sound reason to be cautious: no matter the impression given by the powerful, if we listen to the scientists we know that COVID-19 is not behind us.
The pandemic has been the most stressful collective event of our lifetimes. The world we were living in disappeared seemingly overnight and the world we’ll live in is still being created. We’ve been hunkered in our homes for two months and people want to get back to “normal.” Tempers are running high, with armed protesters occupying state capitol buildings, retail workers being attacked (and even killed) for enforcing social distancing rules, and people just generally being frustrated by the inconveniences they’re being forced to endure. Though we’re all stuck in this pandemic together, we’re also living in (sometimes vastly) differing sets of circumstances. We were already a nation divided. But, two months in, the pandemic seems to be pushing us farther apart.
How do we get through this? Empathy. Compassion. Patience.
If you’re one of the lucky ones who still has a job, isn’t sick, hasn’t lost loved ones to the virus, one way to relieve your stress is to find ways to connect with people who need help. Helping others is the best feel-good drug yet! If you’re suffering losses—your business, your job, your loved ones—remember to ask for help, remember that you are not alone, remember that we’re here for you. We want to help. And, we need to be helped, too.
When it comes down to it, we all simply need each other.
Let’s keep helping.